Saturday, August 13, 2011

Attitude change

In the last few days I find myself experiencing - and working hard on - an attitude shift. Some parts of my life situation really suck. I can change/control some of it, other parts I just have to accept. Well, no, I don't. I could wallow and cry and whine and never accept that the way things are is the way things are. I do have that option. I have no interest in exercising that option.

I have great friends. I have a wonderful family. I have a safe place to lived. I can provide for my kids. I have plans for my future. I do not want to dismiss all of that and waste time being miserable.
I am struggling to keep myself from swirling in depression and pity and sadness when I'm alone, especially at night & when the kids are gone. Staying busy is key I think. There are times the sadness is overwhelming and there are times I give in & have a cry but then wipe away my tears and get busy again.
I'm really tired of life knocking me down but I'm not letting the knocks win. No way. I want to live.

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