Wednesday, May 2, 2012

New focus

I haven't written in a few months, not just on this blog but at all. I've missed it. For awhile I was blocked, nothing would come. For awhile I felt like I had nothing positive to say so I chose to say nothing. And then life got busy. So much has changed.

I have a new focus.For the first time I am putting myself on my priority list.
For two years I saw a counselor who told me I needed to start looking after myself so that I could look after my family. How could I do that? I was so tired and worn out looking after then I had nothing left for me. 

I decided to make some major changes in my life. I stopped dating randomly and started spending time with and talking with people who I valued and who valued me.

I started exercising at the Y. What a difference this has made!

I started making changes to my diet. This has been the biggest struggle and I am still struggling. 

I dejunked so much from my house. As items left my house I've felt more and more free.

I can't describe how different I feel. I feel like I actually matter and have something to contribute. I enjoy being alive - a far cry from the last year when I spent more time wishing I was dead than living.
I find I have more patience and energy for my kids. I'm not so
Wrapped up I'm my cocoon of depression that I can't help them.

I find, even with a crazy schedule of two to four gits of exercise a day I now have more to give to my kids and actually live my life. 

I've been in a relationship for a couple months now and it's a healthy one. How foreign that is compared to my relationships all my adult life! Being treated with kindness and respect and being loved and encouraged is amazing. Having the opportunity to treat someone that way and have it be accepted is beyond my wildest dreams. I am truly happy.

I need to continue on this journey of health.
I still have some major steps to take but I'm heading in the right direction!